Actions Over Words

“What you are doing is so loud, I cannot hear what you are saying.” – Nick Saban

This quote is so crucial for communication and its effectiveness.  Whatever message you want to send to your team, you need to make sure your actions align with that directive.  For example, if you want your staff be organized and systematic but you are scattered, the message will be lost.  If you want your staff to be caring and warm but you constantly look at your phone or have something more important than connecting with your staff, then the message will be lost.  Communication research shows that when in a verbal interaction 55% of the message is received through body language, 38% is received through tone, and only 7% of the message received is the actual words used. 

In other words, your body language and tone need to match the message you are intending to send with your words.  If they do not match, the message will be lost.  So how do we as leaders make sure we that our body language, tone and message are in sync?  Here are few tips:

1)    Intention first – Make a decision about who you will be in each conversation.  A friend of mine says his intention is to always have people feeling heard and loved in every interaction he has.

2)    If you recognize discomfort, irritability, distraction, call it out.  Catch yourself in those modes and let the other person recognize that you see it.  Then pivot from those modes to a place that will allow for more open communication.

3)    TAKE A BREATH- The easiest way to calm the nervous system and reset is to exhale with as little sound as possible.  When you exhale quietly, the mind gets quiet. Then you are  free to choose the appropriate emotion, body language, and tone for the situation. 

Actions are louder than words. 

Choose the right actions and the words get clearer.